Too Close To It: The closer we are the farther away the end feels

If you’ve lived long enough (or hard enough) you know what I mean when I say that and you’ve got the scars to show for it.

Common phrases like “darkest before the dawn”, “the 11th hour”, or “never give up”; at times these seem to feel so empty and meaningless, even to those who know their meaning first hand.

“It’s going to get worse before it gets better”, that one can’t always be true because there has to be a bottom, right?

When we feel the weight pushing down, the light getting dimmer and dimmer, and it feels like there is nothing left to do or say; we’re in very specific place on our path.

81nho65esrl-_sy679_It’s a point where all those sayings just feel like something on a “cat poster” hung in a cubicle by a person who is painfully optimistic all. the. time.

It’s a place I speak from personally and it’s completely natural to feel alone more than we ever imagined possible. Ironically, this place, those feelings are probably the thing that demonstrates our humanity and oneness most accurately.

It may not make sense right now.

All of this might feel like more of the same, just more sentences plastered on a different “cat poster” but if while reading this you’re in somewhat of an emotional state (which is understandable and should be nurtured not admonished), please do me a favor and hang on to this FACT;

Emotion and logic can’t occupy the mind at the same time.

With that said, ask yourself; is this the first time we’ve been here?

Did we ever have a moment similar where it felt totally bleak; and then it didn’t?

What happened? Was it some book or phrase that pulled you out or was it something else, something that almost feels like it was outside of you that helped you to see it from a new perspective?

It’s at that moment when the things we read or aphorism people pelt us with shift from being just “cat posters’ to something meaningful and we know them rather than simply recite them.

This time, the feeling you may be experiencing now, is different only in that the shift seems to be taking longer and it seems more difficult to imagine it ever will.

That shift is what A Course in Miracles defines as a miracle. Just a simple shift in perspective or perception.

It says all we need do is pray for that shift… but if I may be so bold I’d like to take it even further and say; just admitting the shift occurs from an unknown, imperceptible, outside source (whatever it is, whatever you want to call it), just the act of asking for help, is all it takes.

“Help is always given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.”

– Albus Dumbldore


[Total Nerd] Side Note : Some of you may be yelling “He {Albus] amends that statement later [no spoilers] but to that I have another movie quote that I feel speaks to where I am fully, in terms of my overarching idea of self-love and self-acceptance;

It’s not about deserve, it’s about what you believe, and I believe in love.

-Wonder Woman

Now, you all might be thinking I’m talking about, or to those considering, suicide but really I’m speaking to everyone who finds themselves about to give up on themselves or your “home” (heart, body, mind, state, country, planet, etc.) in any way.

We’ve been here before and we are stronger than we know.

Fear is what keeps us locked in, feeling insular or isolated. It keeps the main thing in charge of all change in our lives (our belief system) locked into an idea, locked into stability and safety. Fear makes us want to build walls to insure we surround ourselves with more of the same.

Love helps us remember we’re always growing, always changing, always becoming better than we were before, and that takes a belief in the fact that what makes us comfortable (surrounding ourselves with people and ideas that mirror our own) is holding us back and creating a metaphorical, but an all too real prison equipped and fortified with those walls of mistrust.

I’m not asking anyone to tear down their walls of safety completely at this point, just that we stop adding bricks!

I’ll leave you with this;

Instead of trying to tell everyone how bad their wall is, just think for a minute; take stock of the bricks we add to our own, when we’re focused on the height of other’s.

Remember full acceptance means we need the bad to appreciate the good.

These walls are real and are blocking the source of love’s full light.

This is causing our eyes to adjust and allowing us to believe this is as bright as it gets.

Be mindful, when they fall there’ll be a momentary pain as we’re blinded by the fact that the light never left us, we made a choice to block it out.

When we’re ready all the walls will tumble, if only under the shear weight we burden them with initially.

Related Reading and links;

The wall analogy and much more can be found in;  The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

Mentioned briefly above: A course in Miracles : Combined Volume… to be candid, I haven’t actually finished reading this one yet (sorry Marquise) I’m paraphrasing someone who changed my life with her summation (this stuff goes deep, right?)

It’s a must read!

Marianne Williamson; A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Last but not least! If you’re considering suicide there are people who want to be a beckon of love and hope and would really like to talk with you.

Please reach out; asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness;
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255

2 thoughts on “Too Close To It: The closer we are the farther away the end feels

    1. @beavoicefororphans
      Thank you for your contribution.

      Note to all visitors:: The contents of the site linked above is in no way associated with (or its affiliates), nor has the information contained therein been reviewed or endorsed. is devoted to allowing all comments with no regard to any particular religious affiliation or denomination.

      Please always keep the comments free from judgement or any explicit expression of one belief system or structure being greater or superior to any other thoughts or ideas expressed thereafter.

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