Seek Center, Screw Being “Positive” – The Surprising Truth Behind One of The Ego’s Most Pervasive Edicts

“Here’s to thinking positive, and testing negative”

We’ve all heard phrases like; “stay positive”, “don’t be so negative”, or “the power of positive thinking”.

When people say things like this does it echo hollow for you because it feels like there’s just something not right behind the idea itself…. or;

Alternatively, do you sometimes just want to say “screw you” and not be judged as a “negative” person when someone says something like this without knowing what you really have going on?

You think it’s possible we avoid calling people out for that reason or even worse we start to internalize their judgement?


Those sound like harsh words, right?

Candidly, it’s surprising even to me as I type them, because I’m literally realizing the depths of the ego’s disguise as I write this.

I started this blog in an attempt to clarify the difference between knowing our polarity (north and south pole) and our current state of “charge”. In that, you’ll always have a north and a south pole but some days you’ll carry a positive or negative charge.

As I wrote I started to see how deeply ensnared this misunderstanding went and how many of us, myself included, blindly give out advice like “flip your filter” or “look for positive and you’ll see positive, look for negative you see negative”.

When we say things like this we’re “paying forward” the insane sense that we’re in complete control of our emotions simply because we happen to have garnered a more productive approach to stepping out of the way of their very convincing pull or…

…possibly even worse, we’ve;

  • Found no real peace ourselves, or a way to access it underneath the surface flow of energy
  • Mistaken another of our high points, in the ups and downs of life for peace, and/or;
  • Been duped (again) into thinking “this time it’s forever”, until it’s not

Handsome beard man stand in fog with cup of coffee

You see “think positively” at the highest level says we “should” be in control of our emotions at all times.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, control is never about love, it’s always about fear!

Love evaporates fear completely because love is the knowledge that we’re part and parcel to ALL things (positive AND negative).

Fear pretends to be love, only by partial removal of itself, achieved and maintained through control.

Another way of saying it is; love instills the knowledge that we shouldn’t assume a piece of art is just the paint on the canvas.

person with body painting

The paint is no more and no less important to a piece of art than the canvas it dances with.

Love reminds us that both aspects of the artwork establish the meaning of the other, and whether or not it’s valuable or beautiful is only up for discussion because both exist.

Always try to remember; each and every one of us, including all the tiny parts and emotions that we are, and all that which we choose to observe, are an equal aspect of the beauty and essence of the whole.

Love is remembering ultimately we’re the paint, the canvas, the brush strokes, and that through which all beauty is known

The ego recommends we condemn all emotions other than those we deem “positive” as “bad” or “wrong” (and in faith-based terms, “evil”), thus when negative emotions arise we fall victim to the ego’s ultimate goal of having us condemn ourselves for experiencing them.

guiltThis sense of “should” expressed when we make judgement about ourselves, is the reason for suffering.

We add to and maintain the shared cultural suffering, we all collectively feel, by making the totally understandable call to shift the pain outward when it becomes too much for us to bear.

Then we begin to tell others how they “should” act, speak, look-like, aspire to, what to find funny, you name it.

We avoid our internal suffering by making it other people’s problem in absolutely everything we can experience with our five senses.

Click here for a HUGE (775 word) Side Note (of much controversy and high level of sensitivity) click only if you’re comfortable going extremely deep into some topics of discussion around how this cultural understanding of control can, and does, lead to what we all see on the news each night [Seriously proceed with caution and empathy]


In regard to two acts of violence in particular we see as a result of our collective external projection of “should”s:

Suicides and Mass Shootings

On Both:

We all buy into the idea that we have no choice other than to say, act, and be one way versus another to exist in this world, at some point in our lives.

I’m able to speak knowledgeably about what these control dynamics can, and do, lead to because [Possibly Earth Shattering Fact] there have been very dark and scary points in my life where sadly, and frightfully, both of these scenarios (at different times long ago) seemed like the best option to solve the desperation boiling inside me that I needed to…”prove to everyone that; I HAVE A CHOICE”.

close up photography of hand near windowThankfully I’ve always been a very expressive and boisterous type so these ideas remained barely recognizable blips of thought on my radar of “possible actionable items” but they entered my mind and hooked me for a period long enough that I discussed them with some extremely kind and compassionate people who helped me along my path to where I am today.

I share these thoughts now not to burden those who’ve been close to loved ones who weren’t as lucky as I am but to hopefully shed light on how we all feed into the chains that bind all of us in a similar fashion.

On Suicide:

I truly believe, we all leave this world only when we’re ready because when we get to the other side we see the wholeness and oneness I spoke about above and we know the pain that we leave behind serves as nutrient love rich soil for untold joy to grow from.

That said, I also lost a best friend to suicide along the way. So, I know when it happens love is the last thing we feel immediately following their painful choice.


I’m not sure why I felt compelled to include this in today’s post but seeing as how I struggle with that inner voice popping up at various times, often more than once a day, to this very day, I feel uniquely equipped to share these truths now.

The suffering gets to an unimaginable point when we lose ourselves completely in the idea that all we are is that which our story makes us out to be.

We’re ALL so much more!

The people who commit this equally painful and pain ending act are so much more..

The people who unknowing support our culture and further the understanding of judgment and condemnation that engender these thoughts of despair are so much more…

You are so much more..

I like to believe we all find exactly how much more, after it’s all said and done.

I’ll link to an amazing couple of books from a cancer survivor (Anita Moorjani I’ve been buying this book by the case and handing it out for months) in which she beautifully articulates what I mean by this all knowing we find “after”.

On Mass Shootings:

We all have a “lizard brain” that helps us navigate and populate this world. Unfortunately, it takes control of the helm nearly completely for all of us at one point or another in our lives.

Those who find themselves committing these heinous acts find themselves stuck in a place where down is up and up is sideways, and all of it is dead set on showing us how puny, worthless, and pathetic they are.

human fistThey see the whole of reality as filled with people who are in positions of power in one form or another (be it; task masters in school, bosses at work, unrequited lovers, or just people they see as following these people’s “orders” blindly), and they see the best way to “show them all” is to do exactly that.

Please realize it just takes one, just one person who knows what love really is, to touch them on the side of the arm, look them in the eye and say “you’re perfect” and say it with conviction because they know the truth of that statement about themselves.

That is my goal, my mission, my lifelong dream (I didn’t know I had until it was given to me) that this blog and in everything and anything I do in life, be in service to that vision.

backlit dawn foggy friendshipThe vision is to do whatever it takes to help people realize how perfect and complete and special and worthy we all are.

So that maybe more people be fully equipped to touch the lives of those among us who find themselves closer to either of these “solutions” than any us would ever hope to find ourselves.

That said, please remember what love is when someone tells you to “be more positive”.

Also, realize that when you love all the parts that you are, it allows you access to sink into a more relaxed center point between positive and negative, overall.

today-is-the-dayThis doesn’t mean there won’t be days when you wake up and want nothing more than to go back to bed and/or days you feel are “the day” where you’re going to conquer everything you struggled with previously.

It just means, whenever the world tells you it’s better to be one way or the another, you can bow to the power of choice and source of all love and redemption within that aspect, or particular person giving you the advice, because you know firsthand what love really is and you realize we all eventually sink back into the same “center” eventually.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.