“It’s My Right!” – Culpable, Onus, and Judgement – Our Search For Exoneration of Self

I’m guilty, as are we all…


I inserted that image (which I really hope loaded before you got here…) for two reasons;

  • First, the fact it popped up first when researching this post made me smile
  • Second, to give you a quick taste of the whiplash we feel as we get even a touch emotional (i.e. “what the hell is this guy trying to accuse me of”) to the logical (i.e. “assessing the full scope of the language”)

[and If the second didn’t happen for you, hopefully the first still did]

The Sword of Justice

How much weight do words have? Would we become noticeably heavier standing on a scale while someone lobbed the “unspeakable” at us?

Is it safe to say some things are more unspeakable for some than others?

Think honestly and openly with yourself for a minute, are there words or phrases that seem to carry such a burden to you that you actively seek their avoidance?

Why is that?

Is it possible this same sense of “I don’t want to talk about it!” gets projected outward more than we realize?

Is it within the realm of reason that we might seek to circumscribe our ever evolving areas of internal oppression in order to carve out certain domains of thought so we might avoid the feeling externally?

sword in shining sunlightI just introduced you to my understanding of the fires that forge any and all swords of justice.

These weapons cut through all of us like a laser, energized and wielded by the hands of judgement.

In the parable that proclaimed;

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”

It was said another way;

No one is without a hand on its hilt.

What We Resist, Persists

no letter blocksThe other reason I opened this post the way I did was because I believe it’s true.

It’s likely if you’ve read this blog in its entirety up to this point you get a sense of one of the largest of these areas in my life; control.

When I first read Patricia Evans book on the subject, I wept for days. Not at the injustice done to me but due to the weight of knowing I had been blindly acting in these manipulative and hurtful ways.

There is a chapter in her book (26 I think) that I feel compelled to warn you about. It grants the tools for spotting it and sets out a call to action to rid the world of it by openly confronting it.

Where I am on my path now I see this as the sharpening of the sword that it is, and carry even more shame for the times it still pops up. I vigilantly will attest that others not try to control me as I proceed to act in accordance with the behavior while attempting to snuff it out. tfavd94m

So you see, what people like Mrs. Roosevelt may be saying when they say things like;

“no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

…are that we feel judged only to the exact degree of which we are judging others at that moment.

Step out of the cycle, realize that any power the past has over us is derived from the source of reality and power that only ever exists in this moment, here and now. It’s only when we unconsciously slip back into a fear based state of reactionary “autopilot”, that we believe otherwise.

If at any moment we step out of the now with the intent to pick up and throw the metaphorical stone at any person we believe has wronged us in some way in the past, we hand over our sword-of-power and command the collective consciousness to; “go slay the guilty among you”.

It’s at that moment we pray the hardest that no one, including ourselves, ever be so unkind as to turn the sword on us, based on the parts along our path we refuse to fully accept we took part in.


Acceptance Without, Acceptance Within

When I first attempted to lay out the arc of ideas for my posts in this regard, I was initially hoping to tell the story as one of only inner acceptance and naively thought I’d be able to “ease you in” by expressing ideas like;

…”you can fully accept all you’ve done but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be giving murders and rapist a reprieve”

Unfortunately, when we feel that sinking in the pit of our stomach from the words in the title like; Onus and Culpability, it seems impossible for me to try to deny it completely.

For every ounce of ground you wish to convert to love and acceptance within yourself, you do so for the world equally and at the same time.

We do the things we aren’t proud of so that we know how we want to act and who exactly we know we don’t want to become.

ants-working-hard-sizedWe’re all doing the best we can. My first therapist told me something I’ll never forget;

No one is great at life; we’re all just trying to make good

Forgiveness Isn’t About The Forgiven

Chinese character for forgivenessWhen we free ourselves from the guilt of the past we’re free to see just how interconnected we all are, and feel the oneness with all things that it allows.

What I’ve come to realize also, is that the more I see the landscape of chain reaction and butterfly effect like attribute of this universe, I’m left understanding my guilt through association.

The control I have been guilty of, and will undoubted be guilty of in the future, is in some small way contributing to the conditions that exist for those people who make decisions they’re unequipped to see the error of …. yet.

Forgive them, they know not what they do

…was just as true then as it is now.

Forgiveness has to start with yourself if this world is ever to fully know the light and love that makes all of it possible.

Whatever you’ve done, whatever you will do, it is the absolute best thing you know to be doing at that time.

Try not to hold the sword-of-what-you-know-now over the head of that poor kid who was just doing his\her best to make it,  in a world that seems hellbent on avoiding talking or even thinking about certain topics it was based on limited information, … some of which might have been, or will be, key to your understanding.

Just “being nice” to other people may seem like the humble (easy) approach, but as I can imagine you’ve found, anything worth having in life doesn’t come easy; and being nicer to yourself is probably the hardest thing anyone can ever ask any of us to do.

Like the sharp edges of a diamond, your brilliant perfection is made possible through the cutting and reflection of your imperfections.

You’re perfect just the way you are.

858c1dd24f430bf77b4e55364c9886ea_400x400[Warning:: (Initially)  Unintentional Disney sounding iambic verse in 3, 2, 1..]

Every choice you make is sacred and powerful.

Although possibly imperceptible, is undoubtedly irreplaceable, in the tapestry of life…

….so for that I’m…

…eternally and personally, immodestly-reprehensibly…

Thankful. For. You.



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