When was the last time you slowed down long enough to listen to the wind blow through the trees or appreciate the laughter of a child as if it was the first time you ever heard such a melodious sound?
Why is it so easy to get so caught up in all the other things?
It was early along on my recent path that a wonderful woman, whom I paid to dole out sage advice, told me that “no relationship lasts forever”.
I remember thinking “how dark; why does she say that like it’s a good thing?”.
It was years before I’d begin to realize the breadth of what she was saying.
Months after I read The Power of Now for the first time, it hit me; she was saying “don’t cling to relationships as though they’ll rid you of the fear of fading into the background of eternity”.
Okay maybe she wasn’t getting that deep with it but it was her version of “everything is temporary” and she did introduce me to Emotional Alchemy which laid the foundation for all of it.
What I’ve found since then is that there are real miracles taking place in our lives everyday and they happen whenever we’re granted a new perspective, a shift in understanding, that loosens the bonds that fear shackled us with earlier in life (also credit Marianne Williamson).
Our Enemies, Our Friends
One of the largest noteworthy shifts this led to in my life was around my understanding of death.
There seems to be a cultural, and religious endorsed, approach to viewing death as one of our greatest enemies in life, or as something we need to vanquish (based in part from one tale in particular, held in the highest reverence, of exactly this act).
Ironically, this need to overcome, outrun, or reach some deadline prior to death is one of the most widely accepted fallacies standing in the way of our overall acceptance of life.
When we stop and really search deep and ponder “why is [insert a noun that brings you immense joy] precious to me?” we’re confronted with the stark reality that it’s its scarcity, that, “you’re one-of-a-kind” feeling we get whenever we marvel and revel in a something’s beauty or splendor.
You see, truth is; if nothing decayed or deteriorated, if everything lasted indefinitely, life would lose all joy. It would cease to have meaning and ice over completely, becoming bereft of any feeling of wonder or awe at all.
The feeling we experience when we realize we have just a finite few remaining chances to enjoy a full moon or a sunrise contains a hint of sadness, undoubtedly, but it also typifies what makes it all …. worth it.
Its At Least Worth The Cost of The Setting
What if, one day all of us woke up and found that every plot of land on earth had a large gold deposit just beneath the surface?
Gold would cease to be a “precious” metal.
There would be a run on jewelry stores far and wide requesting the immediate removal of all the precious stones from the worthless alloy and demand that we have them re-set in some other, less abundant, vessel worthy of our stature.
When we realize life is a setting made precious by death, we no longer see it as our nemesis and begin to accept it as part of the whole.
We become free to realize it, in fact, is the light to life’s darkness, granting meaning to what could otherwise lack luster, purpose, and joy.
As is true of the acceptance of our imperfections, life is made whole because of, not in spite of, its inevitable finality.
Try This One On For Size
I have a saying that I’m trying to see if sounds more pleasing than “nothing lasts forever”;
Everything that’s temporal is temporary
What I didn’t realize fully before coining the phrase is that temporal has a double meaning in the English language, and both aptly apply in this context;
- of or relating to time as opposed to eternity
- of or relating to earthly life, lay, or secular rather than clerical or sacred
So, since a miracle is simply a shift in perspective…
The next time you’re at the beach watching children build sandcastles, thinking “how silly to spend all that time on such detail to be so quickly carried away by the waves”, stop to realize that in relation to how long you’ve been alive this time is a much larger percentage for those kids.
Also, since nothing is more than a story outside of the time it’s being observed and experienced, for those few hours that castle is equally as real as the house you might be returning home to later.
What Really Rides On The Waves
Embrace the fact that the house, the car, the job, and all the things that we’re conditioned to think of as “who I am” will all eventually be washed away by the proverbial waves at some point in the not-so-distant-future.
Through recognizing the shackles we all grow to depend on through maintaining a fear-based sense of control from the collective view of death as the enemy perhaps we might all begin to open our hearts and minds up to things we may have previously been too afraid to even contemplate.
My hope is that this understanding might begin to ease the pressure we all feel as we seem locked in the cycle of suffering created by a world seeking to keep us bought into an idea that we can somehow find permanence within this impermanent, temporal, world.
Lastly, it’s important to always be mindful not to resist any aspect of who or what you are.
Remember fear can only remain a reality in our life wherever we lack the light of love but never forget to honor your fear, and cherish your imperfections, for they grant us the wisdom to truly know what love and acceptance feels like in the first place.