In yesterday’s post I covered how our identification with who we are blocks us from feeling the balance all around us.
Today I want to go into how our desire to align with what we are blocks us in a very similar fashion by seeking to deny the aspects of ourselves that we wish to not be.
Also, I’ll be delving into how this leads us to impose an impossible sense of perfectionism within which leads to oppression without.
I’m A Little Teapot; Here Is My Handle… How Dare You Presume I Have A Spout!
When was the last time you heard yourself, or someone close to you say something like;
- “That’s awful, I would never do something like that”
- “I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to anticipate your needs better, I’ll never let it happen again”; or,
- “I can’t believe you thought I’d do such a thing, I’m not that type of person!”
These are all reflections of an inner desire to assert that we are in complete control of who, and more importantly what kind of person, we are.
This ideal that there are “different kinds of people”, and that there are subsets of said “people” that we seek to distance ourselves from being thought of as having anything in common with, is the basis for such fear-based ideologies as; racism, fascism, enforced-gender-inequality, and many more.
When we think and say things like “that’s not who I am” with even a small hint of revoltion, upset, or outrage at the association, we’re taking a small step in solidifying those aforementioned separation based ideals.
Just in case that sounded way too harsh for the gentle approach I’m hoping for in this series let me say it another way;
When we dictate inwardly that we’re not allowed to be human in what appears to be some small insignificant way (e.g. I’ll always be able to control how much time I devote, attention I have at my disposal, or maintain an “always on” attitude) we condemn our future selves to a world that is filled with balance denying blockages
Some Days… We Might Need A Minute, Oh Hell Take The Full 24, You Earned It!
Loving yourself completely comes with so many large payoffs, one of the biggest is the reclamation of the term “perfectionist”.
I lived most of my life as a “secret perfectionist” (and maybe not-so-secret to those around me).
When we spend our time making deposits in the “love bank”, the expectation based version of loving people based on the you-complete-me school of thought, we give our love to others based on a preconceived notion that one day I’ll come to collect.
This is rooted in a sense that you, and the person you make the deposit with, are perfect beings.
It insinuates that I’ll be here for you whenever you need me, no questions asked and with the understanding “it won’t matter what I have going on in my life at that moment, and you better be prepared to do the same for me”.
We aren’t perfect, we never have been and we never will be. If we were, reality as we know it would collapse because there would be no need for anyone to move, expand, or live… why would you if everything was perfect the way it is?!
That said, there must be something in us all that holds on tight to this idea that a state of perfection exists.
Otherwise, why do you think we base our relationships with others and ourselves on these higher-than-thou proclamations of “that’s not who I am” to continue to fuel an inner yearning to detach from some aspects of human nature and cling to others?
Self-love takes that idea and flips it on its axis.
You ARE perfection ALREADY, all of us are born perfect.
Self-love frees us to let go of lower-level understanding that you are fully this and in no way that and realize you’re ALL… that-and-a-bag-of-chips (are people still using that?)
This understanding, that you are, and everyone around really already is, one-with-everything, frees us to step back and see the full complexity and beauty in the unbroken circular flow of energy, as a whole, and appreciate the balance of good, bad, and everything in between that’s unfolding this moment, wherever you find yourself, right here and right now.
Too Good To Be … True AND False
I’ve said it before that cognitive dissonance is the seat of enlightenment, and I stand by that, especially as we discuss balance.
The idea that balance is already happening all around us requires our full embrace of the notion that “a thing” be both good and bad, equally and at the same time.
Side note: I have to hearken back to the teachings and wisdom of God’s Breadcrumbs which is what I call the field of science called Quantum Mechanics.
It’s helping so many of us embrace this concept of equally, and at the same time, in a more mathematical and physics-based approach rather than the purely metaphysical way it always seemed to be aligned with prior to this sub-atomic discovery.
Please attempt to explore that field of scientific research, and on-going debate, if you find yourself rolling your eyes at this “one with everything” idea in terms of balance and connectedness.
If you think this idea has nothing to do with forward thinkers and is reserved for the stereotypical emotional and free-loving types you definitely should check some YouTube videos on the double slit experiment and stories about Einstein’s main-man Niels Bohr.
Oneness is equally rooted in cognitive reasoning and thought rather than just a feeling we get these days…
My Truth Is That Your Truth Stay Your Truth, Truce?
It’s one my core beliefs that each and every one of us are the creators and keepers of our own individual reality.
However, that reality is made possible by its symbiotic reliance on, and sustenance of, the collective or our shared reality.
This blog is merely my attempt to outline the version of truth I’ve come up with (so far), based on my understanding, and if what you have found to be true contradicts this completely but serves to bring you peace … please don’t mind me.
What I’ve found, above all else, is peace within results in peace without.
So, whatever rings true for you, don’t stop going after it until you hit bottom.
We Can Apply Heat And Try To Pasteurize It, But Please Don’t Try To Homogenize Me Away
Please try to always remain cognizant of the times when our egos (the medical term not the spiritual dogma) assert that our shared reality must be forcibly made to reflect our personal one, for this is a denial of the fact that diversity is crucial for growth.
If the whole world was exactly like you, how would you have any idea where you end and any other person, or reality outside of you, begins and ends?
Please take a moment to think long and hard about the following;
On a long enough timeline whenever we’re being compelled to recommend, or take action solely seeking, the homogenization of our environment it’s usually based on our understandable desire to squelch the fear of the unknown that’s inherent in diversity.
I mean, how can we know something if it is completely different than we are?
This is inherently not a search for truth because it seeks to eliminate or mitigate all that we feel we shouldn’t be forced to consider as “real” rather than seek the why or how it came to be in the first place.
Furthermore, please begin to realize this fear of the unknown leaves us in a highly reactionary based state of existence.
It compels us toward a desire to grant the utmost credence to whatever appears to possess any truth that yields a reduction to our anxiety.
Step back and try to see that anxiety is the very understandable reaction when we’re stuck in a reactionary based state of being that’s largely based on a very narrow set of stimulus which is drawing our full attention at any particular point in time.
Thus, the true locus of one’s control over what we find to be “true” resides with the wielder of that which is causing us fear rather than our desire to seek truth as it relates to all points of reflection.
Only Those Who Seek To Control Can Be Controlled
Seek your truth from seeing the whole rather than a desire to throw fear back at fear whenever something you struggle to understand arises.
Take your power back by dropping a need to align with what’s right to avoid a fear of some aspect of yourself being perceived as aligning with what is wrong by seeking it’s annihilation.
Next time you’re compelled to admonish some set of circumstances that a particular ideology or belief system is touting try to rise above all of it and seek to see the entirety of the landscape behind it.
Keeping our understanding at a lower frequency or one that’s based on our primal fears, not unlike those in power are demonstrating they’re equally capable of succumbing to, leaves us vulnerable to being pushed around by the people who can promise to mitigate the largest sets of our collective fear (e.g. closing boarders, race based no-fly lists, etc.).
I think it might just be time for us to…
Really I’m only joking…. I just couldn’t get this song out of my head while editing this post
I mean hey, I’m a child of the nineties and this was my JAM ¯\_(ツ)_/¯