Balance: Day 4 – Lessen The Sway Of Cray – Step Out Of The Story And Into The Now

Okay to recap: here’s a brief list of the ways we block ourselves from seeing or feeling the natural balance that exists all around us;

  • Condemnation
    • Seeking blame of others to offset our guilt
  • Flow of Energy: We are both our good and bad days
    • Trying to deny the lows has us seeking their eradication
  • Our need to know who we are
    • As viewed by others or valued by ourselves
    • Blocks us from just being who we’re meant to become
  • Our desire to avoid being viewed as anything other than perfect
    • Distancing and separating ourselves from aspects of human nature
    • Leads to hatred and anger whenever we’re associated with groups that  stereotypically  reflect the aspect we’re trying to deny exist in us

I’ll wrap it up with today’s post.

Resist Nothing… Try To Hold On To Even Less

All the previous post demonstrate how we limit ourselves from feeling the peace of knowing there already exists an order in the chaos of the world, whether we’re aware of the specifics or not.

stop-palm-outstretchedMore than that though, as we block ourselves from seeing, and fully experiencing it, we aren’t actually doing anything to change the outside flow of energy, we’re just interfering with it’s flow through us.

We’re able to temporarily slow it down a little at some points in our lives but that causes it to rush forward at other times to make up the difference.

This is the reason most of us experience shifts from mild depression to overwhelming anxiety.

When we try to hang on to our up feelings. and deny our down ones, we create tiny levies or dams in an attempt to subvert the natural rhythms that exist.

Flood Waters Be Damned, This Is Our Home!

Think of it as a massive flowing river that’s been assisting in the redistribution of water from the low lands to the highlands, and back again, for as long as humans have been around.

One day, because of your wisdom and great leadership, you join several neighboring tribes and decide to form one unified and peaceful civilization.

water-landscapeNow, we know the river has the ability to be harnessed, so you set out to find the perfect spot to settle, once you find one you declare; “this land is now, and will forever be, the land of our people and so it shall be until there is no more sun in the sky!”

Joyous and proud of your foresight, you build a town complete with homes and shops, but most importantly you build a mighty dam to harness the rushing waters of the river to deliver consistent water for your crops.

It works as designed for many many years, until one season, there is a drought.

Thinking fast, you decide to increase the size of the dam to increase the flow of water and save the crops!

Next year, however, the normal flow of rain returns and now that dam is getting pounded by the increased volume of water it’s trying to hold back.

You lose many lives trying to carefully pull apart the dam board by board in an attempt to shrink it back down and staunch the excess flow of water on the crops, but more importantly not let the river wash away all you’ve built.

Alas, the rains continue and even grow in intensity season after season.


The over saturation decimates your crops and leads to mass starvation

The people are scared, hungry, and angry; they need someone to blame for these feelings and since you were the one who decided they leave their villages originally, that person is you!

Nature’s Flow Reflects And Impacts Our Own

What is there to do about the dam and your people?

This example perfectly illustrates the adage’

Depression is too much past and anxiety is too much future


Remove the dam and if the rains recede, which they likely will soon, the flow of water from the river without a dam will surely lead to more failed crop yields and more famine.

  • Anxiety
  • Worry
  • Fear
  • Doubt


If you try to defend why you did what you did the people will find someone else to “get the job done” and the more you reflect on what has happened, going over it in your mind over and over and over, with what you know now, you can’t see how what you did was justifiable.

  • Depression
  • Regret
  • Recrimination
  • Attempts to deny aspects of our involvement
  • Fault finding to offset blame

You might be asking yourself; “what’s the point? if there isn’t a right answer then why bother?”

Ah Ha!

“Mind Knows The Questions, Soul Knows The Answers” – Amit Ray

book-woman-searchingIf you’re asking that question then you’re closer to letting go of all of the above than you realize…

The point is found in the question as much as it is in the answer.

Seeing things as right or wrong is what blocks us from the truth.

Hopefully, you’re starting to see;

  • All of the negative aspects of past and future identification arise when we view ourselves from the confines of the story which is;
    • A series of events that unfolded before, as described in this moment, and;
    • A series of events that might unfold after, as experienced in our minds… in this moment

Now a wonderful question to pause and reflect on heavily is;

At what point is a story ever experienced; at what point do I determine something is real, more importantly when do I label it true or false?

stream-nowIs it in the past, amidst all the happenings of yesterday?

I think most of us can agree the future hasn’t happened yet, so it’s hard to argue we render these all important activities in some imagined far off place such as “the maybes of tomorrow”.

The here and now is all that is, and will ever be, what is real… the rest is just a story.

You’re So Much More Than Your Story

Your ability to choose to let go of your attachment to your story makes you the most powerful, most beautiful, and most blessed part of creation.

However, as Marianne Williamson says it marvelously;

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

It’s our ego’s job to never allow us to fully believe in ourselves.

He’s deathly afraid that if we do we’ll just stop moving.

We’ll wake up and say “I’ve made it” …

Does that sound like something someone who has just fallen madly in love would say??

baby-fatherIf you’ve ever been in love you know the moment you think you’ve found “that someone” you don’t think “I’ve made it, I can stop now”.

No, you’re filled with more energy and zest than you ever thought possible. You want to run to the top of the highest building and yell that person’s name for the whole world to hear.

That’s EXACTLY what loving yourself completely feels like.

Realizing all that you are, have been, and ever will be, exists right here and now, as you’re reading this sentence… isn’t stifling, it’s the most freeing feeling you can experience.

Too Good To Let Go Of, Really??

scale with question marks on either sideWe look at lives as the weights we place on either side of some cosmic or spiritual balancing device, but the only one looking at it that way is you.

Now you might be thinking; “but it’s not just me it’s everyone who looks at me, they’re all judging me!”

Are they though?

Do you spend all your time researching, compiling, and amassing data of all the good and the bad each and every person you come in contact with.. is there even enough time to do so?

Okay, you still might be thinking “that’s the problem they don’t know all the good and the bad, they judge based on what little information they have”

wolves-prancingAgain, do you really think you’re that important, that total strangers look at you and immediately assess you as good or evil?

Isn’t it more likely they’re caught in the exact same trap?

Furthermore, isn’t it just as likely that they’re worried about the exact same thing and have extremely little bandwidth to worry about you because they’re so swept up in worrying about themselves?

What I’ve come to believe recently is that the world we see is a reflection and confirmation of what we believe.

If you think people are judging you then you’ll amass plenty of proof to back that up.

apple-in-handThe opposite is entirely true, when I flipped and started seeing the world as filled with limitless potential, I swore people could sense that I believed in them from the moment I walk in the room.

Whether I’m right or not, isn’t it worth giving it a shot?

Closing Thoughts

This has been a fabulous week of discovery and self reflection.

These posts were deeply clarifying for me as I let them flow through me and I hope they helped a few of you out in the same way.

I really enjoy listening as much as sharing so if anyone ever wants to share or ask questions I would absolutely adore comments or messages through the Contact page.

I hope this new school year, and this year in general, finds you falling a little more in love with yourself, everyday.


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