The Goldilocks Paradox – An Introduction On How Our Need For Stability Blinds Us To Change

What are some of your favorite things in the whole world?

Have a few in mind?

Now, take a second, and think of one or two “loves” of today that may have started out as the complete opposite.

In one of my recent posts I spelled out that the ego is built for the sole purpose of classifying our world to ensure our survival.


Classification in order to assess reality, by itself, sounds like an oxymoron since whatever we classify in this moment,javier-allegue-barros-768453-unsplash is never identical when we observe it the next time we look at it.

We just assume we know it fully and don’t need to worry with assessing the reality it presents itself as, in the here and now.

This One’s Just Right… Or At Least It Was

No matter how hard any of us try to deny it, change is reality.

Every cell in our body, every molecule which comprises them, are made of atoms which are all constantly in motion.

The ego’s main objective is to try to convince us otherwise…. and it’s very good at what it does.

The phrase “you never step into the same river twice” aaron-mello-572825-unsplash.jpgaptly applies to everything, not just rivers, as being fluid and flowing in nature.

This is why cognitive dissonance exists.

The ongoing battle inside all of us is felt as the push and pull between the notion that we can attain permanence, in one form or another, and the idea that we’re the basis of our understanding of what it means to be permanent.

You Are The Only Constant

roman-mager-59976-unsplash.jpgIf this is the first post you’re reading, that title is probably very confusing.

Even if you’ve been with me a while, if you’re reading my blog in search of “who you are” then it’s probably a head-scratcher for you as well.

The “you” I’m referring to here is the observer, the watcher, or whatever you call the part of you that’s able to think “hmm, I’m having a thought about having a thought”.

It’s the part of you that looks in the mirror and sees an 18 year old staring back and notices the good and the bad aspects of being young, and looks again 50 years later and wonders “where’d the time go?” …. because it is unaffected by time.

I think most of us feel this truth from the day we’re born and it’s the part that it feels like our ego is in direct conflict with …. or is it?

When we start to truly grasp the separation of these two elements within ourselves, something happens, the veil of “normal life” starts to get pulled back and shown as just that.

It’s a belief disguised as the answer to the question of “who am I” as norman-toth-171216-unsplashcoming from something outside of that pondering voice who chimes in while looking in the mirror.

Based on this outside-in belief structure, we seek to find something that’s equally as exempt from time as that voice, so we cling to an understanding of the universe as fixed and stable, lest we lose who we believe ourselves to be, in the sands of time.

As it becomes more clear that a real separation exists within the notion of “self”, we begin to awaken to the shared delusion of “normal life” that exists all around us, fernando-puente-619762-unsplashand we take our first steps in the direction of what I refer to as “the journey home”.

The Journey Is The Destination

Its fear that enables this world to take shape and it’s fear that shackles us to it.

We are, and always have been, the one of a kind version of whatever Goldilocks-perfection we present as, in this moment.

Everything else is simply a delusional attempt at comparison, predicated on judgement and condemnation, in order to try and convince ourselves otherwise.

bryan-minear-325881-unsplashWe never left Eden, we simply stopped believing that paradise exists.

This unyielding desire to see things as permanent is the source of what most of us can relate to as analysis paralysis.

Deep down we know everything is changing.

In order to keep the truth of impermanence from exposing the lie of control, the ego wants us to believe the universe is getting better (or worse) based on our judgement and eradication of certain aspects of reality.

However, our minds are only equipped to handle a small list of variables and the universe has a way of reminding us that none of us really need to try todavid-kovalenko-414249-unsplash.jpg “fly the plane while sitting in the tail section without a pilot’s license.”

In order to keep us from us making the clear assessment that there is far too many variables for any of us to control, it seeks to halt the outstretching of our minds ability by having us believe we’re simply insignificant specs of dust.

Thus satisfying its need to keep us, oddly enough, in a Goldilocks-like-state-of-delusion where we’re dipping into a constant fear of chaos, and back out so we can condemn the world for not controlling it better than we can.

The why, and how, it does this fully is complex as hell, but one way it does for sure is;

The “Privilege Fallacy” Sustained Through A Perplexing Contradiction

This need to feel insignificant, not in control of the factors in our lives, and potentially at the mercy of those in power is why most are erroneously holding onto the belief we should somehow feel guilty for simply being born into privilege.

If you felt a pang of guilt or, conversely, you’re feeling anger around the reality of it as something that shouldn’t be trivialized….phil-botha-495829-unsplash.jpg

Please take a breath and try to see the contradiction, in full, that the ego needs us all to lean on for its reign of control to continue.

Ask yourself this, how is it logical that we believe in both;

  • The condemnation of others, or ourselves, for the way the world is as though we’re the cause of the way things are atop of actions or thoughts we’re all born into, and equally;
  • The world as being devoid of meaning or purpose, just random chaos that we string together to give meaning to disconnected aspects amidst total anarchy
    • i.e. any “effects” we see are not the result of purposeful action

If that isn’t melting any ill-feelings that may have been stirred up because you feel rooted in one or the other at the moment, try to ask yourself honestly;

Are there not times throughout your day where you seek to “let yourself off the hook” with the latter while getting angry at others for the former (even sarcastically saying “everything happens for a reason” or “it is what it is” around something you may have simply and understandably failed to notice)?

Be On The Lookout For Heffalumps And Woozles

lead_720_405The ego sets us up to believe nothing is “our fault” by using both framing tactics, randomness and malevolent intent, equally.

[..and it’s really noticeable when it happens in the same sentence, and it happens all. the. time.]

Here’s what it looks like in the shape of logical justification;

  • Everything is random
    • The good things in my life are the result of “luck”
    • Thus my lacking, this or that, is proof I’m “unlucky”
  • It’s all the result of purposeful and intentional acts of others
    • The bad things are the result of villainy in the world
    • Thus what am I to do, it’s out of my hands entirely because those in power won’t listen to me

This is why we get overwhelmed with choices, the more variables we have the more of these opposing realities emerge and make us feel uneasy.

This post is growing to be another behemothgiphy6 so, I’ve decided to chunk it up into a 3 part series.

Today, I gave you the why the ego needs both of these opposing elements to be thought of as truth in order to maintain its dominance.

Over the next couple days I’ll build on how it goes about it, with a few examples, to hopefully start to lessen the impact on your life a little.

Thanks as always for getting this far. 😉kevin-schmid-578487-unsplash.jpg



One thought on “The Goldilocks Paradox – An Introduction On How Our Need For Stability Blinds Us To Change

  1. Hey there it’s me, the author, sorry for the delay on the follow up to this posts, I posted a reply with today’s post, but I don’t want to make it the first thing people get hit with if they’re showing up for the first time today. If you’re seeing this… thanks for reading!! 🙏


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